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Let It Burn

Whose Line is it Kenshinyway?

Kenshin: "Welcome everyone to 'Whose Line is it Kenshinyway?'! I'm your host Himura Kenshin."
Kenshin walks down the stairs and into his desk while the audience claps.
Kenshin: "Thank you, thank you. Welcome to 'Whose Line is it Kenshinway?' Of course, the show's named after me and our performers tonight are graded on points. However, the points don't matter one bit, yes they don't. Whoever wins with these nonexisting points gets to do something fun in the end. Now, tonight, our performers are Kaoru-dono, Yahiko-kun, Sano, and Saitou."
Kaoru: "Why is that guy here!?"
Kenshin: "Excuse me?"
Kaoru: "That guy with the long face!"
Kaoru points at Saitou.
Kenshin: "Well... um... Megumi didn't want to participate."
Saitou: "Tsch."
Sano: "Don't talk jo-chan, I have to sit next to this punk!"
Saitou: "Keep your comments to yourself, weakling."
Sano: "Grr... weakling!?"
Kenshin: "Now, now, let's all settle down..."
Yahiko: "Grown ups..."

Game #1: Questions Only
Kenshin: "Our first game is called 'Questions Only'. This one's for everyone."
Kaoru and Sano step into the center of the stage while Yahiko and Saitou stand on the side.
Kenshin: "Only questions can be used in this game. If you make a mistake, you will have to eat Kaoru's cooking."
Kaoru: "WHAT!?"
Kenshin: "I'm just kidding... heh heh... Now, where will the conversation take place?"
The crowd shouts out random words.
Kenshin: "OK, good, a market."

Saitou: "Do you have some groceries?"
Kaoru: "What kind are you looking for?"
Saitou: "Where are you from?"
Kaoru: "Why do you ask?"
Saitou: "Are you a racoon?"
Kaoru: "What!?"
Saitou: "Does your face always look that pale?"
Kaoru: "Do you know who you're talking to!?"
Saitou: "Why, it smells pretty bad here. Is it you?"
Kaoru: "That's it!"
Kaoru springs forward, but Sano moves her back and takes her place.
Saitou: "Where did the girl go?"
Sano: "Do you have to ask?"
Saitou: "Anyway, how much for the groceries?"
Sano: "What groceries?"
Saitou: "The ones you're stepping - argh!"
Saitou is buzzed off stage and Yahiko takes his place.
Sano: "What's up kid?"
Yahiko: "Do you have a foot long?"
Yahiko snickers.
Sano: "Shut up."
Sano walks off and Kaoru takes his place.
Yahiko: "How's it going?"
Kaoru: "Hello, what do you want to buy?"
Yahiko: "Where's the bathroom?"
Kaoru: "Can't you ask the guy over there?"
Yahiko: "Why won't you tell me?"
Kaoru: "Can't you see I just sell groceries?"
Yahiko: "What's that have to do with me going to the bathroom?"
Kaoru: "Why do you wait so long?"
Yahiko: "Aren't you going to tell me?"
Kaoru: "Would you like to buy some lettuce?"
Yahiko: "How about some information to the bathroom?"
Kaoru: "Are you stupid or just plain deaf?"
Yahiko: "I know you are..."
Kaoru: "What!?"
Kenshin rings the buzzer a couple dozen times as Kaoru shakes Yahiko by his shirt collar.

Game #2: Whose Line is it Anyway?
Kenshin: "Please have a seat!"
Sano drags Yahiko and tosses him into the seat. Kaoru calms down and sits down.
Kenshin: "All right... this next game is for Sano and Saitou. Here you go."
Kenshin gives two pieces of papers to Sano and two to Saitou. Both stick it into their pockets.
Kenshin: "During a scene, Sano and Saitou will use two lines each. What shall the scene be?"
The audience shouts out loud.
Kenshin: "OK, the scene is a play. Sano is an actor that hasn't bothered remembering his lines and Saitou is the angry director forcing Sano to learn them."

Saitou: "You idiot! Idiot, idiot, idiot! You are so stupid! The play starts in a just a few days and you don't know one of your lines! I gave you the script a month ago!"
Sano: "Is it my fault that I lost it?"
Saitou: "YES!!"
Sano: "Oh."
Saitou: "I think I'll find someone else to replace you..."
Sano: "But, you can't!"
Saitou: "Oh, I can!"
Sano: "Don't you remember what you told me the day you gave me the script? You said..."
Sano digs into his pocket.
Sano: "Shishio tastes like chicken."
Saitou: "Odd. I don't remember that."
Sano: "Well, those where your words."
Saitou: "I don't think so. Although, I remember how desperate you were to play this role. You told me..."
Saitou digs into his pocket.
Saitou: "I'll give you a dollar if you'll eat my share of Kaoru's cooking."
Sano: "Anyway, I'm going now."
Saitou: "Wait, who said you can leave?"
Sano: "Maybe... after all, I'm not cracked up for this business."
Saitou: "Don't be stupid. You are. I've seen your work and it's... fair."
Sano: "You really think so?"
Saitou: "Yeah, and when the play debuts and you play your part, the headlines of the newspaper will read..."
Saitou digs through his pocket."
Saitou: "Iwanbou is my hero."
Sano: "... Uh. Well, that's not a very good headline."
Saitou: "It wasn't meant to be."
Sano: "Take my advice, my grandfather told me this..."
Sano digs through his pockets.
Sano: "Where did my pants go?"

Game #3: Party Guests
Kaoru: "Who the heck wrote those lines!?"
Kenshin points behind him to the crowd.
Kenshin: "Our next game is for everyone."
All four performers step up to the stage, but only Yahiko is in the middle.
Kenshin: "The game, 'Party Guests' is a game where Yahiko there has to figure out who his three guests are. When I ring this doorbell, someone new will enter."

Yahiko: "Oh boy oh boy, I just can't wait till my guests arrive."
The doorbell rings. Yahiko runs up and opens the door.
Yahiko: "Hello Kaoru."
Kaoru: "Helllloooo *hic* Yahikooo..."
Kaoru dances into the house and falls down face first.
Yahiko: "Get out of here you drunk."
Kaoru runs off stage after being identified. The doorbell rings and Yahiko answers it.
Yahiko: "Why Saitou, what a surprise."
Saitou stands still.
Yahiko: "Hey?"
Yahiko waves his hand in front of Saitou.
Yahiko: "Um, Saitou."
Yahiko pokes Saitou repeatedly.
Yahiko: "OK..."
The doorbell rings and Yahiko answers it.
Yahiko: "Greetings Sano."
Sano: "HI THERE!"
Yahiko:" Um, hi."
Yahiko: "Shut up, you with the megaphone."
Sano runs off stage. Yahiko just stares at Saitou.
Yahiko: "I didn't order a statue."
Saitou walks back to his seat as Kenshin rings the buzzer.
Kenshin: "Good job, Yahiko."
Sano: "Too bad that one was such an easy game..."

Game #4: Hoedown
Kenshin: "Well, this is our debut show, so unfortunately, we don't have much time to begin with. Anyway, tonight, our winner was Yahiko-kun!"
Yahiko is seated in Kenshin's desk now, and Kenshin is on stage with Kaoru, Sano, and Saitou.
Kenshin: "This game is called 'Hoedown' where we all sing a song about something. On the piano is Tsubame-chan. So, what should we sing about."
The crowd shouts out loud a few things.
Yahiko: "How about cooking?"
Kenshin: "All right."

The piano tune plays.
Kaoru: "I like to cook a lot it makes me really glad. I like to cook a lot more than my dad. It really comes to wonder just how could it be, how Sano and Yahiko got on TV?"
Kenshin: "Well cooking is not my specialty. I'd rather cut wood and other trees. My cooking is so bad although and by the way, it's a lot better than Kaoru-dono's every single day."
Kaoru punches Kenshin in the face, knocking him out.
Sano: "Man I hate Kaoru's food, it tastes a lot like crap. I didn't know that I could even rap. Well I don't know what else to say and that's the end of this. I think I'm gonna knock Saitou out with a single fist."
Saitou: "I don't cook at all because my wife does it. Sanosuke you chicken, why don't you just shove it. I haven't tasted the racoon girl's cooking as of yet, but it tastes like crap, a thousand yen, I will surely bet."
Kaoru punches Sano and Saitou in the face, knocking them out.
Yahiko: "... Um."
Kaoru looks at the three bodies she's layed out.
Kaoru: "Ah heh heh... sorry... Eek."
Kaoru runs off stage.
Yahiko: "Um, thanks for watching 'Whose Line is it Kenshinyway?'. We'll see you next time."
Yahiko looks around and runs off too.
Yahiko: "When Saitou wakes up, he'll be pissed!!"