"Welcome everyone to 'Whose Line is it Kenshinyway?'!
I'm your host Himura Kenshin. I'm scared, fearing my life,
but let's have some fun anyway."
Kenshin walks down the stairs and into his desk while
the audience claps.
Kenshin: "Thank you, and once again welcome.
Tonight, we have our four performers. The one everyone
fears, Kamiya Kaoru, everyone's favorite Makimachi Misao,
the smiling kid Seta Soujirou, and Mr. Personality Saitou
Kaoru: "This episode better not make fun of
Misao: "Hi Aoshi!!"
Soujirou: "Where's Aoshi?"
Saitou: "He's not here you two idiots."
Misao: "I know! I'm saying hello to him at
Saitou: "I thought you guys didn't even have
a television. Being that poor is really unfortunate."
Kenshin: "Now, now, it's time for our first
Kenshin: "The first game tonight is titled
'Alphabet'. This is for Kaoru and Misao. They have to
make up a sentece or phrase using the letters of the alphabet
in order and have to go around from the starting order.
Sounds confusing, but it really isn't. The scene is Kaoru
doesn't have enough money to tip Misao who'se a waitress
at a restaurant. What letter shall they start with?"
The audience shouts out their choice.
Kenshin: "Fine, we'll start with the letter
D. Take it away whenever you're ready."
Kaoru: "Doh! I can't pay this time."
Misao: "Eh? Again?"
Kaoru: "Fine with you?"
Misao: "Good God, no."
Kaoru: "How come?"
Misao: "I don't think my manager will be so
happy to see that you haven't paid again."
Kaoru: "Just kidding. Oh wait, I'm not..."
Misao: "Kindly never come back here if you
Kaoru: "Let me come back, please!?"
Misao: "Maybe... I'll think about it."
Kaoru: "No way, I don't want to come back."
Misao: "Oh, so you're a fickle person, huh?"
Kaoru: "Right now?"
Kaoru: "The manager is coming!"
Misao: "Ugly, isn't he?"
Misao: "What am I going to do, I'm going to
get fired if you don't pay up!?"
Misao: "You just stand there!?"
Kaoru: "Zebras are nice."
Misao: "Agh! You moron!"
Kaoru: "But, what'd I do?"
Misao: "Can you just shut up and help me think!?"
Kaoru: "Don't have the time, see you later!"
Whose Line is it Anyway?
Kenshin: "The next game is for Soujirou and
Saitou. Before the taping, we chose four random audience
quotes on pieces of paper."
Kenshin hands two to Soujirou and two to Saitou. Both
stuff the papers into their pockets.
Kenshin: "What you have to do is read the
papers from anytime you want in the scene, which is Saitou
is a booze hound and Soujirou is trying to help him get
off the bottle. Just don't take too long, please."
Saitou sits down and pretends he's drinking. Soujirou
walks up to him.
Soujirou: "Tsk, tsk. Drinking's bad, you know?"
Saitou: "Shut up. I don't need you to tell
me that, kid."
Soujirou: "But really, it's bad. Haven't you
read the warning on all of the bottles? It says..."
Soujirou digs into his pocket.
Soujirou: "Only take when feeling horny."
Soujirou: "Um... yeah."
Saitou: "That's the stupidest thing I've ever
Soujirou: "But it's on there, look!"
Saitou pretends to look at the bottle.
Saitou: "My God, you're right!"
Saitou: "Whatever. I don't care. Run off now,
kid, you're being a pain. I remember the last person who
came by to warn me about the dangers of drinking. He said..."
Saitou digs into his pocket and pulls out a paper.
Saitou: "You'd better watch out, you'd better
not cry, you'd better not pout I'm telling you why."
Soujirou: "Santa Claus is coming to - "
Saitou: "Knock it off! I hate that song..."
Soujirou: "You're so glum, mister."
Saitou: "Will you just leave me be!?"
Soujirou: "Never! I had a friend who wound
up like you. Yes, he drank and drank until he finally
became a complete drunk. His last words to be before falling
asleep in a gutter one night were..."
Soujirou pulls out a paper.
Soujirou: "Make me a panty that fits my head."
Saitou: "Quite a nice friend you had there,
but I don't care what he said. My problems go away from
Soujirou: "Oh, so that's why you're drinking?"
Saitou: "That and I was thrown out the other
Soujirou: "What happened?"
Saitou: "My wife and I came to a disagreement.
I said something and she got really mad."
Soujirou: "And what did you say that made
her so angry?"
Saitou digs into his pocket.
Saitou: "Please, kindly scratch my rear."
Kenshin: "This game is titled 'World's Worst'.
This is for all four of you. Now, basically, in this game,
you say what you want when you go on the stage. I'll give
you a topic and anyone can begin. Worst kind of date."
Saitou: "Hello. I'm going to kill you."
Soujirou: "Yo, whazzup!?"
Saitou: "Is it OK if we take the bus?"
Kaoru: "Whoops, I don't have any money...
could you pay?"
Misao: "Tonight, I want to sit under the sky,
watch the stars, and then go have fun playing checkers
for five straight hours!"
Soujirou: "Is it just me, or do you
Kaoru: "Hi. I just arrived now to pick you
up, but may I ask, was that your car parked in the garage?"
Misao: "Could you let me shower? I haven't
taken a bath for about... two months."
Soujirou: "My dad said he wanted to accompany
me on my first date."
Saitou: "Hi, I'm Himura Kenshin."
Kenshin: "Ah hah hah... very funny Saitou.
This is the last game, the hoedown! Everyone's favorite
game! If you don't know how this game works by now, well,
that's just too bad. I need help from the audience. That's
something you like to do in your free time?"
The audience spits out what they have to say.
Kenshin: "No, we already did cooking... Using
the bathroom? Fine! The using the bathroom hoedown!"
Saitou scoffs at the statement. Tsubame begins playing
Kaoru: "In my free time, I use the potty.
When I'm finished, there's a bunch of dotties. Usually
this kind of thing happens everyday, but at least it doesn't
smell as bad as Saitou Hajime."
Misao: "Going to the bathroom is really such
a joy. I can read, sing, or dance without an annoy. It's
really lots of fun you have to trust me, but it looks
like I wet my pants because I forgot to pee."
Soujirou: "Using the bathroom, I do it everytime!
I like to take a crap cause it costs no dimes. Whatever
you say about this fun activity doesn't bother me, except
when you wet the lid with your own pee."
Saitou: "Kaoru's crap smells like trash and
so does the weasel's. If you get near, you might catch
the measels. When you see that Kaoru is taking a long
dump, it means that Kenshin gave her a big *beep*"
"That's it for tonight! Again, I got so caught up
that I forgot to even participate!"
Saitou: "... Again."
Kaoru: "You stupid wolf!"
Misao and Soujirou hold back Kaoru from attacking Saitou.
Kenshin: "Tonight's winner was Soujirou. Anyway,
Soujirou: "I won? I won!"
Saitou: "This game is really rigged."
Saitou walks off stage and lights a cigarette.
Kaoru: "I'll get you next time!"