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Let It Burn

Whose Line is it Kenshinyway?

Kenshin: "Welcome to 'Whose Line is it Kenshinyway?'! I'm your host Himura Kenshin, the guy who everyone likes, though I don't do anything special on the show."
Kenshin walks down the stairs and into his desk while the audience claps.
Kenshin: "Tonight's improvisers are "Big-Eyed" Makimachi Misao, "No Eyes" Seta Soujirou, "Average Eyes" Sagara Sanosuke, and "Wolf Eyes" Saitou Hajime.
Saitou: "Battousai, that comment you said earlier was so appropriate. You don't do anything special for this show."
Kenshin: "I am the host."
Saitou: "So what? Why not spend one night on the stage for the whole episode?"
Kenshin: "I'll take that bet on sometime when the show gets canceled."

Game #1: Number of Words
Kenshin: "This first game is called 'Number of Words'. First time we've played it on the show. What is going to happen is that the four improvisers only have a certain amount of words they can use when speaking. Misao will have three, Soujirou will have four, Saitou will have five, and Sano will have one."
Misao, Soujirou, Sano, and Saitou head down to the stage.
Kenshin: "The scene is Soujirou and Misao are a newlywed couple. However, on their honeymoon, they are held up by two robbers, played by Sano and Saitou."

Soujirou and Misao join hands.
Soujirou: "Lovely night, right, honey?"
Misao: "Yes it is."
Soujirou: "Where are we going?"
Misao: "Don't you know?"
Soujirou: "It's up to you."
Misao: "Let's go to..."
Misao urges for Soujirou to finish her sentence.
Soujirou: "To see a movie?"
Misao: "Yeah, that's it!"
Sano and Saitou come onto the scene. Sano has his finger pointed out so it looks like a gun. Saitou is by his side, pretending to smoke a cigarette.
Sano: "Hand over the money, now!"
Saitou: "Yeah!"
Misao: "Help us! Somebody!"
Soujirou: "Here, take my wallet!"
Soujirou gives Sano his "wallet".
Sano: "Hey, is this a joke?"
Soujirou: "What do you mean?"
Sano: "There's only a piece of..."
Saitou: "Gum."
Sano: "In this wallet of yours!"
Misao: "Kecho Giri!"
Misao kicks Sano in the head, causing him to fly over Kenshin's desk and into the crowd.
Saitou: "Woah."
Soujirou: "I'm going away now."
Soujirou runs back to his seat.

Game #2: Questions Only
Kenshin: "Interesting turn of events there. Note: Do not give Misao two words next time."
Sano: "You didn't have to hit me so hard, weasel!"
Misao: "You think that was hard, you chicken head?!"
Saitou: "Of course he does, he's a wimp."
Sano: "Grr..."
Kenshin: "Now, now, it's time for the next game. 'Questions Only' is the name of the game. It's for everyone, again. All four of the improvisers are able to speak in questions only, though only two are allowed at a time."
Misao and Sano go off to one side, while Soujirou and Saitou go off to another.
Kenshin: "The scene is a meet market, or should I say, a place where people go only to get dates."

Misao: "Is this the place?"
Soujirou: "Are you a girl?"
Misao: "Doesn't it look like I am one?"
Soujirou: "Want to go out?"
Misao: "Why are you so quick to ask?"
Soujirou: "Doesn't it look like I'm desperate?"
Misao: "Uh, yeah."
Misao walks off stage. Sano replaces her.
Soujirou: "Will you go out with me?"
Sano: "Doesn't it look like I'm a guy?!"
Soujirou: "Would you like to go on a walk?"
Sano: "Can you just get out of my way so I can meet some chicks?"
Soujirou: "What color do you like?"
Sano: "Does it matter?"
Soujirou: "How am I going to know what color dress to buy you when we go to the prom together?"
Sano: "Does it look like I wear dresses?"
Soujirou: "I don't know, do you?"
Kenshin buzzes his buzzer.
Kenshin: "That wasn't a question."
Soujirou: "Agh!"
Soujirou walks off stage. Saitou replaces him.
Saitou: "Want to come home with me?"
Sano: "... Uh, why do you ask?"
Saitou: "Do you like to spend quiet romantic evenings in a house full of tobacco smoke?"
Sano: "Will you get bent?"
Saitou: "What is 'bent'?"
Sano: "Ah, forget it."
Sano walks off stage. Misao replaces him.
Misao: "Aren't you that guy?"
Saitou: "What guy?"
Misao: "Do you know who I'm talking about?"
Saitou: "No, what?"
Kenshin buzzes his buzzer.
Kenshin: "That wasn't a question, Saitou."
Saitou: "Ah get bent."
Kenshin: "I see you're picking up from Sano."
Sano gives a thumbs up as Saitou walks off the stage. Soujirou replaces him.
Misao: "You again?"
Soujirou: "Miss me?"
Misao: "Did I?"
Soujirou: "Did you?"
Misao: "No."
Misao walks off stage giggling. Sano replaces her.
Sano: "Miss me?"
Soujirou: "Who are you?"
Sano: "Does the name Himura "Desperate" Kenshin ring a bell?"
Kenshin rings his buzzer furiously.

Game #3: Hoedown
Kenshin: "Well, for once, the hoedown will not be our final game."
Sano and Saitou celebrate.
Kenshin: "But still, you will have to do one... What should this hoedown be about?"
Kenshin looks at the audience as they shout their suggestions. Misao, Soujirou, Sano, and Saitou walk down and take their places.
Kenshin: "Well, it looks like this will be the Jail Hoedown. So... take it away whenever you guys are ready."

The piano tune begins.

- "Only the bad guys go to jail and that isn't me."
- "You'd never find me in a cell, never, not me."
- "If I was thrown in a cell, wouldn't that suck?"
- "Though I wouldn't have to pay taxes, not a single buck."

- "A lot of friends of my are in the slammer right now."
- "Anji is in and Chou was once somehow."
- "I could just see the next inmate on the list."
- "He's the guy next to me, with the broken fist."

- "Jail is for losers, and Saitou threw me in once."
- "Jeez, I feel like giving him a punch."
- "Though, I'll restrain myself just this single time..."
- "Because Saitou's up next, and boy he can't rhyme."

- "My name is Sanosuke and I'm a chicken head."
- "I was thrown in jail because of a guy I shot dead."
- "During morning showers, there's a lots of things I could scope..."
- "But I have to be careful to not drop the soap."

Game #4: Talk Show

Kenshin: "Nice little hoedown there. I think I'll give you all some points now. Let me see... the winner tonight is, why, it's Saitou!"
Saitou: "You just want to keep me out of the game, right Battousai?"
Kenshin: "Yes and no. So, I'll be joining the others on stage while Saitou takes my seat."
Kenshin heads over to the stage and Saitou takes his seat near Kenshin's desk.
Kenshin: "So our next game is 'Talk Show'. We - "
Saitou: "I'm in control of the desk now, so I'll say the rules!"
Kenshin: "Um... fine. Go ahead."
Saitou: "Basically, Kenshin will be hosting a talk show when the audience suggests a good topic. The two guests will be Misao and Sanosuke, while Soujirou will be up in the audience as a crowd member. Any suggestions about the talk show?"
The audience suggests a few things, but Saitou doesn't turn around to hear them. Meanwhile, Soujirou takes his seat in the crowd.
Saitou: "Those are all nice suggestions, but I like the one about the taste of that raccoon girl's cooking."
Kenshin: "Kaoru-dono's cooking it is."

Kenshin: "Good afternoon everyone and welcome to 'He Says, She Says'. I am your host, Fab Fabulous, and today, I have two guests here to talk about... Kaoru-dono's cooking. Your name, miss?"
Misao: "Hi, my name is Shishio Makoto."
Kenshin: "Um... OK, miss.... and you sir?"
Sano: "My name's Yahiko, and I HATE Kaoru's food! Bleck~."
Kenshin: "Now, what is so bad about her food anyway? I think it's fine."
Misao: "Everything tastes like it's burnt. Perhaps it's just my senses, but heck, I don't know."
Sano: "It sucks, it sucks, it sucks! I hate it! Have you ever eaten socks with bean paste mixed with perfume? It tastes worse."
Kenshin: "Do you guys think you can cook better than Kaoru-dono?"
Sano: "Easily. I'd make some kind of instant thing, or just take it from the Akabeko. Either way, it's better than the crap she has!"
Misao: "I can fry an egg on my head."
Kenshin: "That's nice, but someone in the audience has a question. Yes, you sir, the one with the goofy grin."
Soujirou stands up.
Soujirou: "My name is Kurao, Kaoru's sister!"
Sano: "She has a sister?!"
Soujirou: "Yes! And I have to agree with everyone - Kaoru's food BITES. When we were younger, we went to the same cooking school. Uh, yeah. And the teacher there kicked out Kaoru because her food was the worse she tasted ever."
Soujirou takes his seat.
Kenshin: "Well, thank you, Kurao, for your comments. Now, we have another question from the same person that looks just like Kaoru's long lost sister."
Soujirou stands up again.
Soujirou: "My name is Kaoru, and I just came in to the show. What's the topic?"
Kenshin: "Um, err..."
Misao: "It's about how bad your cooking sucks!"
Sano: "Yeah! You dumb raccoon!"
Soujirou: "What?! I'm going to come down there right now!"
Misao: "Come on!"
Soujirou: "Fine!"
Soujirou pretends he's carrying a frying pan as he scorches down to the stage. Immediately, he gets into a mess with Misao and Sano.
Kenshin: "Well, that's all the time we have, so join us next time... ah heck, this talk show's been canceled anyway."

Everyone returns to their regular seats, all except for Saitou.
Kenshin: "Planning on moving?"
Saitou: "No."
Kenshin: "OK then."
Kenshin turns to the camera.
Kenshin: "Well, that's another edition of 'Whose Line is it Kenshinyway?'. Join us next time, and I promise Saitou won't be on the next edition."
Saitou: "What?!"